Soul Agreement

The canvas I used was a painting I did the day before Richard's first chemo session. I did not like it and put it in the closet.  It sat there for 20 months until I took Shiloh Sophia’s Midnight Muse session!

The process was so cathartic, painting over what was on the canvas, releasing, shedding tears and fears, letting go of one chapter of of my life, beginning a new one.  

What I learned through my grieving and healing was that Richard and I had a soul contract from birth (the minute I saw Richard I knew he was THE ONE!) Richard's purpose in this life was to help me become a better person, to find my soul truth, through his illness and passing.  It was at this time that I started questioning why I was here on earth, turning to God and giving it all up to him, beginning my spiritual path, my OWN spiritual path.  

The symbols.  The red thread (which came out of the compost) binds our souls.  The hand and heart represent my sending him my love everyday.  The feather presents the feather I found on my kitchen floor the night after my first visitation from Richard. The light represents the energy I see and feel.  Finding and sharing my voice is the ray of light through the face into my throat. 

I am so amazed at how it all come out on the canvas. I did not plan it. It revealed itself to me. What a beautiful experience, transformation!!!!

This is what Intentional Creativity is! I will be teaching my first IC class sometime this Fall! Can’t wait to share the process with you!


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Deep Soul Heart


Working Through My Grief

For the first time in I don’t know how long I woke up with a light heart, a smile, feeling happy and ready to embrace my day!

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Mantra

Face Your Fears, Trust the Journey

My journey began 21 months ago, well, to be honest, a bit before that, but that’s when my life changed, the rug was pulled out, I passed out on the emergency room floor, “Come grow old with me, the best is yet to be” printed on our wedding invitation was not going to be.

I remember going to Richard’s primary doctor after his diagnosis. I made an appointment for the both of us. I was prescribed Ativan and Lexapro to help ease the monkey mind and take the edge off. I was hesitant. I am one that does not like to take medications. After discussion with the doctor, close friends and family who have also taken these meds I said okay BUT I knew that I needed more. I needed a spiritual tool kit.

I signed up for a Stress Management class offered through Sutter Health. I looked into Energy Healing and found a wonderful mentor, Naomi. I found many guides to help me on my path through online groups. I should probably expand on those but I’ll be honest, I’m lazy, ha ha, that’s too much to document but I do post about my groups here on this blog. I learned to pray differently. My relationship with my truth teller, God, changed.

I am healing and growing AND I am no longer taking the medications prescribed for me! They helped get me through those sleepless nights, calm down the anxiety. I knew it was time to wean myself off of them, that I have my spiritual tool belt and guides and my tribe to lean on.

BUT my new tools some may consider woo-woo so I was not sharing. People would say to me, wow, you are so strong, you are doing so well and I wanted to share why but I held back, I wasn’t speaking my truth, my voice.

Slowly I started stepping into my own, my voice, thus this blog. But I wasn’t posting much, still hiding. What are you afraid of?!?!? That family and friends may judge me?!

Those old beliefs and patterns are binding, they don’t allow us to grow and be the person we are meant to be.

This week, after the Fly Free Retreat, I took the first step in sharing my voice, posting on my personal FB page.

Part of my path is I want YOU to be who you are meant to be. How can I do that if I don’t share!?!?!

Face YOUR fears, TRUST the JOURNEY!!!