The Way Home

Lately my dreams have become very weird, vivid.  I try to document them the minute I wake up, some times it is easier than others.  Many I still don’t understand their meaning but this morning’s dream I do KNOW!

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TRUST

You Are On Your Path

Richard and I were driving over winding, narrow dirt roads, lava, I could see the embers, large black boulders, very bumpy terrain.  We came to a clearing and I understood this was Richard’s stop, his destination. 

A kind, young woman greeted us.  I asked her, how do I get home?  I don’t want to go the way I came.  She said, you can go this way, it’s smoother. There was NO road, only air.  I said my car can’t fly, how do I get there.  She said to just wait for a few minutes the road was being built.  As I looked I could see something that looked like an island floating in the middle of the vastness of the air and the road appearing but it hadn’t quite reached the land yet.  I asked her if it would take me all the way home as I knew the island was not my final destination.  She said, NOT YET, that I had to wait there at the island and the road would be built when it was time!

Working Through My Grief

For the first time in I don’t know how long I woke up with a light heart, a smile, feeling happy and ready to embrace my day!

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Mantra

Face Your Fears, Trust the Journey

My journey began 21 months ago, well, to be honest, a bit before that, but that’s when my life changed, the rug was pulled out, I passed out on the emergency room floor, “Come grow old with me, the best is yet to be” printed on our wedding invitation was not going to be.

I remember going to Richard’s primary doctor after his diagnosis. I made an appointment for the both of us. I was prescribed Ativan and Lexapro to help ease the monkey mind and take the edge off. I was hesitant. I am one that does not like to take medications. After discussion with the doctor, close friends and family who have also taken these meds I said okay BUT I knew that I needed more. I needed a spiritual tool kit.

I signed up for a Stress Management class offered through Sutter Health. I looked into Energy Healing and found a wonderful mentor, Naomi. I found many guides to help me on my path through online groups. I should probably expand on those but I’ll be honest, I’m lazy, ha ha, that’s too much to document but I do post about my groups here on this blog. I learned to pray differently. My relationship with my truth teller, God, changed.

I am healing and growing AND I am no longer taking the medications prescribed for me! They helped get me through those sleepless nights, calm down the anxiety. I knew it was time to wean myself off of them, that I have my spiritual tool belt and guides and my tribe to lean on.

BUT my new tools some may consider woo-woo so I was not sharing. People would say to me, wow, you are so strong, you are doing so well and I wanted to share why but I held back, I wasn’t speaking my truth, my voice.

Slowly I started stepping into my own, my voice, thus this blog. But I wasn’t posting much, still hiding. What are you afraid of?!?!? That family and friends may judge me?!

Those old beliefs and patterns are binding, they don’t allow us to grow and be the person we are meant to be.

This week, after the Fly Free Retreat, I took the first step in sharing my voice, posting on my personal FB page.

Part of my path is I want YOU to be who you are meant to be. How can I do that if I don’t share!?!?!

Face YOUR fears, TRUST the JOURNEY!!!